The Voodoo Bombs Destination: India
by Sashaswoons
Summary: Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry begin their own Ghostbusting business. They soon realise that fighting away the supernatural is much easier than fighting against love. Pezberry friendship, Brittana, Faberry


It was getting late and the streets were empty except for the faint distant sounds of tyres zooming past in the above highway. She quickened her pace as her nerves were kicking in. She was never a fan of the dark and ironically the power seemed to choose this day to slacken off causing the road lamps to appear dim.

She never had a chance as she never saw it coming.

Prologue

Santana was everyone's dream girl. She has the perfect life, a loving family and a unique voice that has been dubbed by her fangays as "Soultana". She was truly appreciative of her good fortune as she had tirelessly worked hard along every single step of the way and it was so rewarding to see people, as limited they were, accept her for who she really was. She had spent her teenage years living up a facade. Ever since her Abuela showed her the movie Mulan when she was five, she was certain that being defensive was a survival instinct. She mastered the art of harsh biting sarcasm so well that she even managed to disarm the ever opinionated Rachel Berry of her words. However, as future dictated, Berry would be her go to guru for all significant turmoil in her life. Despite her skilful attempts at breaking down her opponents, Berry was one of the few to realise that despite Santana's mean streak, her words were always meant to be passing clouds, never intentionally hateful.

As luck would have it, Santana came to face a harsh reality check. Singing in dingy gay bars was not a well paying career. It was surely an ego boost, having all her gay fans fawn over her, but free shots could only fill her tummy till the next noon. She needed to have a full time paying job. Rachel was not that fortunate in her New York endeavours either, as she realised that the casting couch was still ever present in this shady industry. Even if she were to look past her own morals for a moment, the lone imaginary visual of her sexually sated producers would even turn off the 40 year old virgin.

Hence, our heroines joined forces to set up their own business. One that would allow them the luxury of working at their own schedules while still having some time to invest in their passion for the arts.

And that was how the "Pezberry Ghostbusters Inc: Voodoo bombs" came about. Rachel had no say in their company's name as she was vehemently outvoted by both Santana and Snix.

Chapter 1

"You have exactly a minute to fix your pretty face before I bust through the door and make it ugly!"

Patience was never one of my virtues. I have plenty other that has served me well, like using my very talented fingers to direct those wonderful moulds and hear my women scream so loud as though they had previously swallowed a loudspeaker during their birth. Well, you would have realised, staying focused is also not one of my virtues. Anyway, you get the idea, I hate to be delayed. Unless we're talking about foreplay up to the moment... okay it's happening again. But you'll get used to it anyways.

Berry has been on my ass ever since we first started busting ghosts. Technically there were never any to begin with, but people like to be hopeful. Hopeful for all the tragedies that are nothing but a figment of their poor imagination, probably stemmed from their deprived childhoods. I don't get this people. They pay us a fortune to perform some magic incantations to fend away "ghosts", but they have no idea that all the verbal vomit that we've been saying are just poorly deconstructed renditions of failed pop culture songs. For Instance, we had this Chinese couple who believed that their home was haunted with the 7th month ghosts and wanted us to appease them and make them move on to the other side. Apparently in that culture, the 7th month was designated vocational visiting for their dead relatives. I, even as worldly knowledgeable as I was, had no shit clue about this. Berry was as helpful as Artie is for marathon training. We did the best of our abilities, and chanted this inspirational piece of music. Truly mind-blowing I tell you. This girl's parents must be very proud.

OOOHmmmmmmmm...Seven a.m., WAKKKKKING upinthemorningggggg, Gottabefreshgotta go downstairsGotta have my bowlgotta have cereal. SEEIN'EVERYTHING, thetimeis goin'Tickin' onand on..hmmmmmmmmmmmmm everybody's rushin'Gotta get down to the bus stopGotta catch my bus, I see my friendsKickin'inthefront seatSittin' in the back seatGotta make my mind upWhich seat can I take?

Mozart must be turning in his grave.

We made through the initial stages of setting up our foundation. It was challenge because nobody was ready to believe that someone as smoking as me would rather mingle with the dead. Somehow we still managed to snag some deals as Berry's outrageously large nose was commonly assumed as an indication of a third eye for the supernatural. Thank god for her overly dramatic devotion to Streisand and complete aversion to botox.

Our business has been booming ever since the string of ridiculously low budget Paranormal activity movies came out. Like as if the first one was not enough of a big bogus itself. But who am I to complain? I have always envied and loathed our clients with equal measure. Despite their ability to throw away money like they grew on trees, they also possessed this irrational fear that money can never resolve. Such a pity.

Our clientele has been very diverse and inclusive. We take up propositions from all over the world. I personally enjoy these trips cause they're like prepaid vacation. Life is good when you're this good looking. Just saying.

This brings us back to my current predicament. Berry scored us a sweet deal with a nice Indian lady. She wants us to travel to her native country and de-voodoo her ancient home. She claims that the bungalow has been haunted for years and thus is not a marketable property in the very superstitious community. Doesn't hurt that Berry thinks she's smoking hot too. But that is still up for discussion considering her questionable taste in men. I agreed nevertheless. India has been on my bucket list among many other countries and now that I'm very single and ready for some action, the land of the kamasutra might do my hopeless romantic life a favour.

"Why would you need these entire luggages when the job requires only a week's commitment? We need to get in and out before someone sniffs your pretentious aura."

"Thank you for your vote of confidence. I'm surprised your charming self is still available in the market." Rachel had her own agenda when she agreed to the mysterious but stunning woman's offer.

"If Hollywood's not ready to embrace my abundance of talent, maybe its brother Bollywood will be more appreciative. I hear that the Bollywood Stars are considered second to God. Since they have many gods in their religion, there are plenty of second places to be filled. And as always, I just want to be prepared for a performance, coconut trees or not" Rachel was already huffing past her roommate lugging more boxes.

Santana could only scowl in response. Secretly she was delighted that Rachel agreed to partner up with her. The dynamics has always been a little back and forth. Some people could never understand how the self-centred diva could easily dismiss Santana's rampant insults with a blink of an eye. Rachel had seen Santana at her worst and if she could deal with her then, this discreetly sweet version was a piece of cake.

Santana threw Rachel her signature eye roll. "That's true. You'd fit right in Bollywood. Their movies are often three hours long and I hear even the dead corpse has a few lines. I'm sure they would have a place for you. Now get moving or we're gonna miss our flight!"

Santana was already picturing herself sipping sweet wine while being attended head to toe by exotic gorgeous women only to be rudely awakened by the reality of their situation when they set foot in Chennai airport. In foreign territory, amongst bustling huge crowd and unknown languages, they were both desperately in search of one Geetha Nair.


End file.
